elmo..

this complicated relationship with elmo will be ending soon.
soon we will just be friends, friends separated by great distance.
no more flirting, no more hugging, no more cuddling, and no more random pecks on my forehead.

he will be leaving for studies elsewhere, while i'll be stuck in this sucky place trying my best to survive the stress.
and by the time he got back from the studies, i would have graduated and starting work, and i bet by then our frequency and priority in life would be quite different.

the moment i got to know he will be leaving this place soon, i'd prepared myself not to fall in love with this guy.
he asked me 'i don't know if i should get steady with you' before. and i just smile and say 'don't'.
yes he knew i just got off a ldr, so i bet he knows that i will not want another ldr.
plus, we knew each other for only a month, its too soon to 'go steady' now imo.

last night should be the last night we get to spend together.
its nice to sleep beside him, under the same quilt, feeling his warmth.
love his hugs, love his cuddles, love waking up beside an elmo face.

that morning, he said to me 'don't miss me too much. go and find a new guy for yourself.'
and i replied 'let me just concentrate to finish my studies, i'm not thinking about these stuffs'
in actual fact, i wish to tell him that 'if i am willing to wait for your return, will you still want to see me, as that (potential) special someone?'
i just don't have the guts to say these, and i want him to enjoy his time fully in the foreign land, and not being tied down to any obligation or commitment of sort.
and i regretted it.
never am i bold enough to ask him for a real date throughout this 4 weeks of knowing him, nor the courage to ask him 'will you miss me when you're gone?'

i will miss him for sure, actually i already am.
but i will get over him.
and move on.
that being said, seeing him not on msn, while knowing that he's in the room makes me kinda sad already.
i shall take it slowly, but surely.

life's like that.
some people just came in at the wrong time.
some people just doesn't attract you at all.
and when all i can do is to let someone whom i love, and love me go.
nothing describe this phase of life better than this three letter word, FML.........